BORING, FRUSTRATING JOB TO AN EXCITING, HEART-CENTRED BUSINESS – IN JUST 10 HOURS???
It always seems impossible until it’s done.
Nelson Mandela
I like to know about how my clients are doing after we’ve ended the coaching process, so, from time to time I ask them what’s going on.
Last week I wrote to Adam (not his real name), a client from last year and I was very happy, because he called me right away to tell me his story.
Adam contacted me in 2017 in July, to help him figure out what kind of work he’d be enthusiastic about, because what he had studied and had been doing for years, is not it. Despite being popular in his workplace, surrounded by cool colleagues, he felt drained and out of place.
We talked for a bit and he made a quick decision for us to start working, after which we worked for exactly 10 x 1-hour coaching sessions, over the course of about 6 months.
When we set his goal for the whole process (that’s an important part of coaching, that we always work towards a goal, not just chit-chatting like buddies), and his goal was to HAVE A GOAL. 😊
This might sound weird, but it actually happens often that people who come to me for support, have no idea whatsoever about what they really want. They only know for sure, that whatever it is they’re in at the moment is not good for them. Either they’re bored, or find their work totally meaningless, or they feel they’re just wasting time there, because they would like to be able to work with a lot more enthusiasm.
After all, the time we spend working is a huge chunk of our waking time, so it does matter, how it affects our mood and life.
That’s exactly where Adam was when we started our work together. The only thing he knew about the desired work was that whatever it will be, it’s important for him to feel it’s right for him, it should be creative and coming from the heart.
This was an important starting point. Many people are stuck for years in jobs, professions or businesses, which even if originally their choice, and seemed a rational decision at the time, has by now become meaningless and boring.
Many made this choice because they wanted to continue a family tradition or go to a university where their grandfather had studied or do work which current statistics show as a means of generating great income. But it can also happen, that the work that used to be fun, gradually turned into a dreadful task.
During these coaching conversations, my job is to switch off all my personal ideas, any advice, or seemingly rational reaction. It’s not my would-be solutions that are important in this pathfinding, but for my client to figure out his own motivation, all that would help him find purpose and meaning in the work he would be doing.
So, I turned off my own stuff, and started paying attention to the slightest spark in his eyes, any change of expression, the smallest sigh, or change in his tone of voice.
Right from the start, I was looking for the first time Adam mentions something, that he did not get bored with relatively quickly in the past. Since I didn’t know him earlier, I could rely only on what I heard and noticed at that very moment.
Then an incidental half-sentence revealed that he had been baking bread at home for years, and everyone around him loved whatever he made. 😊 But this was just a hobby. However, shortly after our session he spontaneously signed up for an amateur baking contest, where he won the prize in his category! WOW. 😊 He hadn’t even prepared for the contest.
In the meantime, we continued to work on what his ideal job would look like. Just for fun he found an accredited course for bakers, because he was really interested in learning baking the proper way. Just for fun.
Looking at it from here, it’s very clear that Adam is inspired by baking, right? So why didn’t he become a baker?
And that’s a great question, to which the answer is not so simple…
Why isn’t the profile of our job, or business the thing that makes us happy?
If it were that easy for everyone to do what seems so obvious for an outsider, then surely everyone would have made the necessary decisions, and would have started doing that thing long ago.
But there’s a reason why we’re not doing it, and that’s usually some kind of inner obstacle, which cannot be overcome by great advice, or rational arguments.
If it were that easy, no one would ever be stuck.
Obstacles come in all shapes and sizes:
- The well-known direction from home: “Have a decent job, son.”
- Fear of the unknown: “What if I’m not good at that? I’ve never done it as a professional.”
- Fear of commitment: “What if I get bored of this too?”
- If the environment is not supportive, then it’s even harder: “What’s this silly thing you’ve come up with again?”
- And finally, all this can be really scary until you have a good plan or a strategy.
So, Adam and I worked on these issues, and then around the 4th session we had the first breakthrough.
The realization that he might already be doing the thing he’d been looking for.
This realization surprised him, just as it might surprise other people.
When we’re always surrounded by the same people in the same environment, we tend to become short-sighted, even tired, and from there it’s hard to see which direction would be best to take.
For things to change, there’s also one other thing that’s essential: our own permission.
Our own permission, that:
• It’s ok to not know,
• It’s ok to want something else,
• It’s ok to move fast or slow,
• It’s ok to relax,
• It’s ok to think differently than the people around us,
• It’s ok to want something.
When these 2 conditions are met, then things usually move forward pretty fast and the necessary action is taken. 😊
So, these 2 conditions are:
1. Recognize what’s important.
2. Give ourselves the permission to do and enjoy what’s important.
Once you have these, you will see through all that you thought impossible, and suddenly start seeing possibilities. 😊 You’ll have a goal, a decision, the commitment and solutions for executing your plan.
And you will take action, because recognition and awareness will generate the energy that you need to have the drive and motivation for the whole process.
Adam decided to move forward at a pace that was most comfortable for him. Others may decide to do it differently. Everyone should move at their own pace and aligned with their own opportunities. One life cannot be compared to any other.
Coaching helps to discover these possibilities and create a tangible plan of scalable steps, that can lead to a great new adventure.
So, Adam enrolled in a course, and found himself a bakery for his internship, one with the quality and values that he wanted, and with this started to develop a new profession for himself. One that did not exist in his family earlier and one that he’d never thought of before.
When he called me, he shared some amazing news: he left the internship and will be opening his own bakery in the fall. 🙂 He’d already found a place, by autumn his papers will be ready, and he still loves baking. 😊 He was full of ideas and plans. (Update a year later – business is going well, in workhours that fit Adam’s rhythm, and he’s planning to expand the bakery.)
Well, so much can happen in 10 sessions, which we had over the course of 6 months.
What would you change if you had 10 sessions like that?
These stories inspire me so much! Working with someone who is committed to change, and seeing that with a little support, they are able to change their work or business so that it makes them happy, is an amazing experience.
That’s why I’d like more people to explore their own possibilities and then be able to share such great news as well.
My CHAOS TO CLARITY – 3-month intensive coaching program – with 6 coaching sessions and regular email support will help you find clarity in what your ideal work would look like. It’s up to you, if you would like to extend it to 10 hours, but after just these 3 months you will have a lot more confidence to move forward.
SIGN UP FOR THE 3-MONTH PROGRAM
This is an opportunity for you to have inspiring new plans about your work or your business in just 3 months. For you to figure out what your heart-centred path would like.
What kind of permission do you need to allow yourself to move forward?
